Writing it out!!!

I have been feeling really down about work lately. I mean when i first was working my AHT (average handle time on calls we take) it was real good. We also have this thing called adherence (which is how well you follow your schedule) that was okay but not bad bad. Well then when i started to try to improve on my quality scores my AHT went up ( which is not a good thing). Well now it seems like all three and my ACW (after call work) are sucking REAL BAD. I don’t know what to do every time i try to be better its like it don’t make a difference. I would like to move up in my job, but I can’t because of those scores. I need to keep my job until i finish school and find me a job with my profession. I just feel down in the dumps and at times wish i could say screw it all.

I think it is bull crap that my own family would treat me like shit before a friend would. When i first moved back in with my gmaw it was hell i couldn’t go nowhere or do anything because of my dogs. Well my mom said something to her and we agreed she would let me go out and do, but if i come to my moms I have to bring my dogs.  Well now my mom wants to be a bitch and not let me bring my dogs to her house. Which in turns make my gmaw pissed at me. So I tried working something out with my gmaw. First it was as long as i came home  by 10:30 i was okay. Then she got pissed because i was gone everyday. Well i asked my mom if on the weekends fri-sun i could bring my dogs so that way momal don’t have them on the weekends. She says sure as long as a i clean up after them. Well now she makes every excuse for me not to bring them over after she told me i could. So i started trying to come home for examples I get home around 430 from work Monday and Tuesday i went straight home Wednesday i stopped by moms but was home by 6. Thursday I went to momas and came home about 10:30 11. Friday i go to moms come home late but not past 12:30. Saturday i am home about 12. Well i been home TODAY all day and i want to go to my moms to see my nephew who is only gonna be there until 6. But she wont let me because she says i wont be home until 12 like i am every Sunday. Which is not true after True Blood goes off i take my friend kimm home then i head home which is somewhere around 11. I mean its bull crap because they each tell me one thing then change their minds completely. For instance my gmaw will fuss at me for wanting to leave without my dogs i try to take them and shes like you don’t have to take them. I mean neither one can make up their damn minds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then whats so bad they blame it all on me saying that to solve my problem i need to get rid of them. No i already gave away 3 of my 6 dogs. plus one went back to live with my mom like she had been before i moved.

 

hey its just i got letters yeasterday saying they was foreclosing on my house the same house i signed a paper and handed over to them last august. Then my best friend who is preg who tells me she wants to move out in 1 week I find her a place and now she dont want to move.But shes prego and the situation she is in isn ot healthy and they have no air and its the fact she tells me ione thing but does another. I am tired of of helping people when they ask for it then dont take it. Plus i am wanting to go back to school but i dont have the time orm oney to do so. I have a gmaw who is up my ass over my dogs I have storage buidling i am paying for, but when I want in it i have to ask one of my parents to take me due to them not giving me a key for ity. I am tired of being a 5th or 3rd wheel around my family everyone is in a couple BUT me and i am tired of being alone an d lonely all the damn time. Plus i have a mother who says she is strong on family but she leaves my gmaw and popal out of half of the family stuff we do, We are supposed to have family portaits made in october and she wasnt even foing to ask my gmaw to be in them, but she was going to ask her STEP kids

My past just came and bit me in the but BIG TIME!! This guy I was talking to at one point Cody. Well I was really into him and then found out he was talking to another girl and just was talking to me to make her mad or until she got unmad. WHATEVER!! The point is I am talking to this new guy.  I mean i kinda am starting to like him, but then its like I don’t know. I mean he has all kinds of girls on his pages and flirts with alot of them. So idk what is up, but I find this girl said she was supposed to hang with him on his page. Even though he can never hang with me EVEN though I have went to his city(which is like a 20 or alittle more drive) jsut to see him and he cancels. So anywho back to the girl. I start to recognize the girl and the name. Then comes to find out the girl is the first guys sister. and all i could say was OMG!!!!

Growing up I never saw much of my dad. When i did see him he was too busy playing on his computer or dragging me off to a friends house. I never actually had quality time with him. Then when I finally think I am get what i have been longing for a long time. IT STOPS no Happy Birthday for 2 years, no merry christmas, no NOTHING! Then when I finally get up the nerve to text him he informs me that he is getting married. I mean I am happy for him, but that is no excuse to not even tell your OWN daughter Happy Birthday.

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. My car has been acting up ever since I got it. I have taken it to carmax twice now with no results. But they cant do anything until they duplicate the problem I am having. I mean I haven’t even had the car 30 days yet. I mean they cant just go in there and start looking through crap and I cant take the car back because they been to helpful through this. So idk what to do anymore.

I swear the nerve of some people. My so called friend posted this comment on facebook.

“Having a blast at my party that everyone of my friends decided that it was not important at all So ya know what! screw y’all!”

Well for one she invited me, A SINGLE GIRL who is looking but having bad luck to a party with HAPPY COUPLES. Two I just got home from camping and I had a friend I had to take home but couldn’t until 9pm. When I asked her if I could bring her she said No. Well I am not gonna abandon one friend for another. Its not right plus her other friend couldn’t make it because there was a death in the family. I mean really COME ON!!

I was cleaning up today when i found a note that I had written to a guy I had liked. When I read the note I sounded so desperate and a push over. That note made me think yeah maybe I am a Bitch and I have done things I am not proud of, but I am not a like that anymore. I don’t let guys or people in general push me around. I take up for myself and I make sure my point is heard. Yeah I know I go a little too far with it sometimes, but would you rather have a girl who will just let you go in there end Or one who will fight tooth and nail for you till the very end?